do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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