You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize