He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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