break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
