I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
