I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
time to smoke my breakfast
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize