He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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