Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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