So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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