I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You can't special order awesome
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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