He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
