i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
honey bunches of taint.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
