So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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