just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize