they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
