Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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