i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
