dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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