you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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