I must be too annoying 4 u.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
