The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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