I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
