I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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