Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
