all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
