real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
