you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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