people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
