that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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