did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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