Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
