Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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