and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
