Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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