In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
