hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
