Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
