found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
