I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
