there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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