It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
