Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
