I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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