Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
