yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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