flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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