Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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