It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
