found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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