Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
