I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
