Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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