just tell him i said nine months
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
