everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
