Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
