it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
