Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
