do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
