Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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