I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
