so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
