My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
