she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
