I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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