Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
