Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
