we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
