You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
