I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
