I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize