She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
