woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
