1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
