Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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