I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
