I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize