I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
