I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
