I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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